Whenever possible, strengthen the awareness of Life and the Truth of Life.
Exist in Life.
What a miracle the human being is! How well we are made! Each of us is on such an amazing journey. The “person” is created with the mind (intellect), the capacity for emotions, the body and the Spirit. The mind, emotions, body and Spirit are all one and yet separate. Each one of these facets of the person is a multitude of miracles in and of itself. I am in awe and wonder at the mystery and miracle of each person and of each person in relation to self, others, nature and the Author of all that is. May this book help to nurture and solidify personhood and the joy of life by increasing awareness, understanding and knowing of self (mind, body, emotions, Spirit) and by contributing to physical, mental, emotional and spiritual healing.
What is of most importance in personal growth and healing is each person’s awareness of Being or Spirit. Quite simply, Being or Spirit means that Spark in a person, the Essence of a person which is expressed by their smile and mannerisms, the Amness and the Twinkle in their eye. The Spirit is the Warmth, the Goodness, the Sacredness, the Uniqueness, the Presence and the Love in a person. The Spirit is that which is gone from the body once the body has died. Yet you can sense their Spirit in your heart if silently attentive.
No matter what your life circumstances or how traumatic your upbringing and life may have been, it is through awareness of Being you are made whole and are able to live life to the full. Being is your Center. In Being there is connection to self, others and the Creator. In Being there is acceptance of self. In Being you discover Truth. In Being you are “at one” with self and others.
Words are incapable of describing the wonder, reality, awe and power of Being. To know Being one must enter into Being. Ultimately all anyone has is Being. All else will pass. Being is enough. From Being life can truly be lived to the full. Although the intellect will try to convince you otherwise… Being is Reality.
Know that within You, Being is real.
Your work is to discover Being. Your work is to become aware of Being and enter into Being. Your work is to reconnect to Being. There is such Simplicity, Acceptance, Peace, Harmony, Lightness, Freedom, Uniqueness, Completeness, Oneness and Wonder in Being. It is from Being we need to live mind, emotions and body. In Being we can accept and own our thoughts, emotions and body. In Being we are at one with all of self. It is the programming and wounding of the intellect, emotions and body, with the ways of lovelessness, that blocks Being.
A most important question to ask is “What is my relationship with myself in this present moment?” If I am not loving myself and in communion with myself in this now moment; am I then hating myself, rejecting myself, judging myself, condemning myself, negating myself, criticizing myself, ridiculing myself, tormenting myself with guilt, doubting myself and/or doubting my existence? In other words; am I not accepting myself, not wanting myself, not seeing myself, not believing myself, not protecting myself and/or not trusting myself? If so, is it possible to simply stop this inner “self” violence or at least begin to start recognizing this “self” rejection and “self” abuse?
The answer is yes! It is accomplished through “awareness”. It is accomplished through awareness of all four facets of the human person. Awareness enables recognizing and identifying thoughts, emotions, inner sensations, body sensations and Realities of Being. Awareness leads to feeling and expressing the pain from wounds of lovelessness. Awareness leads to uncovering unconscious lies and unconscious self destructive inner mechanisms. Most importantly, awareness leads to connecting to Being, that is, connecting to Love, Life and Truth within.
In Being there is no judgment. In Being there is only Love. In Being there is Acceptance, Life, Existence, Peace, Presence, Gentleness, Harmony, Understanding, Oneness, Goodness, Wholeness, Compassion, Joy, Tenderness, Forgiveness, Communion, Connection and Amness. In Being there is acceptance of and oneness with mind, emotions and body no matter what thoughts or emotions you experience. In other words; in Being, there is a capacity for harmony with mind, emotions and body. From the strength and solidity of Being; all thoughts and emotions can be received, identified and processed. In Being there is Harmony and Autonomy and at the same time Connection and Communion.
Anxiety is the result of not having been loved enough; that is, not loved enough to be able to love yourself and not loved enough to Be. Love nurtures. Love protects. Love is Reality. Love is the medium of growth. Love permeates body, mind and emotions with Acceptance, Understanding, Worth, Preciousness, Recognition, Existence, Gentleness, Patience, Kindness, Truth, Solidity and Presence. Love resonates with Spirit. Anything else is based in lies or untruth. Anything else is the darkness, emptiness and agony of lovelessness. If you have not been loved, loved enough and/or felt safe and secure then your body, mind and emotions likely hold and create anxiety, pain and untruth.
What is Love?
It is the answer to salvation. Our task is to work out our salvation. The task is to stop the inner self abuse and at the same time find Truth and grow in Love. The task is to discover and connect to the Love, Life, Presence and Truth “within”. The task is to recognize destructive patterns and inner wounds while at the same time reconnect to Being…reconnect to Love, Life, Existence and Truth within. The task is to begin to Love self. Awareness of and connection to Being makes this possible.
To stop the inner violence and turmoil of self abuse you first have to “catch it”—to “recognize it”. To catch it means to see what you are doing to yourself on the inside. The reason you abuse and reject yourself is because this is what you have been “taught” to do. To catch or see what you are doing to yourself you need to be aware. Awareness is the key to self understanding and inner enlightenment. Attentiveness is the way which leads to awareness. Stillness and silence enable attentiveness.
Stillness and silence also bring you to your Center—to your Being. The Truth is within You. Love is within You. Let Love permeate your body, mind and emotions. Love is gentle. Love is kind. Love accepts. Love is patient. Love does not condemn. Love does not judge. Enter into Love. Enter into your Love within. Be gentle with yourself. You Exist. You Are. You are Good. You are Love.
Attentiveness is the mind becoming still. Attentiveness is the mind turning away from distraction. In stillness and free from distraction the mind connects to Being. Attentiveness is the mind connecting to Being. You become Present to that to which you give your attention. Attentiveness is the process of becoming Present. The essence of Attentiveness is Presence. Attentiveness is becoming Present to your thoughts, body, emotions or Spirit Realities. Attentiveness is becoming Present to Others. Before you become Present to Others you need to become Present to Yourself. In Presence the intellect becomes attentive to thoughts, emotions, body or Spirit.
Abuse and/or lack of love teach self abuse and self rejection. Love needs to be the medium in which we grow. A child needs to be “held” in Love. Love needs to saturate the mind, body and emotions. Love needs to be the way of Life. Love is about relationship…relationship with self and relationship with others. Love is about connection. Love nurtures and awakens the Love within. Love nurtures and awakens Being. Love is connection to self, to others and to God. Awareness of Being takes time, patience and perseverance if a person has suffered years of abuse and lovelessness as a child. Experiencing abuse and lovelessness as an adult can also blind a person to the awareness of Being.
Feel your feelings.
Feeling your feelings opens you to your inner world. The more you feel your feelings the less you will be afraid of them. You can “Be” with all your feelings. Trust me on this…You can Be with all your feelings. Your feelings will shine a light on the mechanisms of inner self abuse. Your feelings will shine a light on the core lies you believe. Your feelings are the body’s way of drawing attention to that which is unprocessed. Your feelings are your inner reactions to unconscious self destructive mechanisms, inner pain and unconscious lies you believe about yourself. Inner self abuse is a “learned” pattern of relating to self. It is a result of experiencing lovelessness and abuse, especially as a child. Awareness, Love, Acceptance, Gentleness, Patience, Presence and Compassion are necessary to dismantle these unconscious learned abusive patterns of relating to self.
Awareness of thoughts and feelings leads to awareness of the learned unconscious inner self abuse mechanisms. Once you are aware of the “inner” self abuse, such as self rejection, you can acknowledge it. To acknowledge means to recognize, to own and to admit. Acknowledgment requires openness and humility. Humility is not humiliation. Humility is accepting “what is” with gentleness and understanding and with no judgment. Let your feelings BE. Let your feelings come. Let your feelings guide you to express what needs to be expressed…to express what is stored within. Let your feelings express themselves through your body in a safe and non hurtful manner. This process will lead to awareness of inner wounds and specific aspects and mechanisms of inner self abuse.
Once you are aware of and have acknowledged an inner mechanism of self abuse, such as self rejection or self hate, you can now catch it. Now you can make a choice. You can choose to stop this inner self abuse and self rejection. You can choose to say “NO” to self rejection or self hate. If the patterns of self abuse and self rejection are deeply engrained it may be necessary to choose to accept, for now, you are not able to stop it. Just the “recognition” of inner self abuse such as self rejection is a huge step. Acceptance of “what is” brings inner peace and harmony.
As awareness of Being grows, the choice between self rejection and “self” acceptance becomes possible and easier. It is made possible by turning away from the automatic learned self rejection and self judgment and returning to your Spirit and the Truth of your Spirit. It is made possible by awareness of the “lies” fuelling the patterns of self abuse and self rejection. In Being there is no judgment, rejection or hate. In Being there is Acceptance, Peace, Gentleness, Understanding, Tolerance, Patience and Love. In Being you can acknowledge and accept inner mechanisms such as judgment, rejection and hate. Acceptance does not mean to condone. Acceptance leads to and allows acknowledgment. Acceptance enables choice. Choice empowers. Choice is liberating. You can begin to say no to self rejection and other forms of self abuse. You have this power.
It takes gentle non judgmental attentiveness and patience to become aware of the different inner mechanisms of self abuse such as self rejection. At times it is necessary to wait for light and Truth and live with the uncomfortable. Awareness will come. Awareness enables you to make a decision. Awareness gives you a choice. “Know that Love has nothing to do with judging, rejecting, hating, berating, negating, condemning, not wanting or not accepting yourself. Love has nothing to do with guilt”.
To stop abusing and rejecting yourself you also need to catch the unconscious lies about yourself which you have been “led” to believe and “taught” to believe are “truth”. Awareness allows you to catch unconscious lies. The lies fuel self abuse and self rejection. The lies justify and enforce this learned, engrained, automatic and most often unconscious self abuse and self rejection. Lovelessness and the pain of lovelessness spawn these lies.
With awareness comes the ability to make a choice.
Once you make a choice to stop it…that is stop judging yourself, hating yourself, rejecting yourself, condemning yourself, negating yourself, beating yourself, criticizing yourself, doubting yourself, ridiculing yourself, putting yourself down and believing lies…you can choose to replace this externally learned inner self abuse with seeing yourself (seeing your Spirit, your goodness, your worth, your personhood etcetera), accepting yourself, wanting yourself, believing yourself, understanding yourself, hearing yourself and being gentle with yourself. Further you can choose the Truth of your Spirit, that is the Truth of your Amness, Existence, Presence, Personhood, Worth and Goodness even in the face of others rejecting you, hating you or abusing you.
Others rejecting, hating and abusing you triggers self negating and self destroying unconscious lies. These lies are learned, engrained, automatic and unconscious. Awareness brings consciousness to this hidden source of agony and destructiveness. Awareness brings light to this darkness. This is what working out your salvation means.
I Am, You Are, Love Is. These words proclaim reality. Whether you know it or not, feel it or not and understand it or not; God, Supreme Being, The Creator, Yahweh, Allah, Higher Power, Jesus…whatever attempt is made to name this indescribable “ISNESS”…loves you and loves you beyond comprehension. The fact that…You Are…means you are Loved. Within you, is this connection and communion. The most powerful way to receive and come to know this Truth and this Reality is to be still.
In Being you will come to know this Truth and Reality to the depths of your mind, body and feelings. Silence and stillness lead to Being. Thoughts and feelings do not negate Being. The intellect or mind needs to quiet itself (become still) and just simply observe…observe this Reality within. When the mind is quiet it has a chance to become aware of this inner Reality. You can Be. The mind can become one with Being. The mind connects to Being. The mind is absorbed by Being.
Whatever your thoughts, beliefs, feelings or even what others may say about you; there are no exceptions…absolutely no exceptions…You are Loved. Love is within You. No matter what you may have done, what you may have not done, what you look like, what things you have or do not have, what you do, what happens to you, what people may say or think about you, what amount of money you have or don’t have and on and on…You are Loved. You are accepted, seen, wanted, heard and received. You…Exist. You…Are. Your Being…Is.
You do not have to earn Love. You do not have to perform to get Love. You do not have to “do” anything to get Love. Quite simply Love Is. You have always been loved and always will be loved. Love is within You. You are Love. Enter into Love. This can be a difficult reality to grasp for those who have experienced lovelessness and abuse.
God is within you and you are within God.
After years of searching, this is my experience. This reality has been within me all along. If it is true for me, then it is surely true for you. You are made in the “image and likeness” of God…of Love. Stop…be still…and wonder at this amazing Truth. Become one with this Reality. At the very depths of you is your Spirit, your Center, your Essence, your Being. This is who you really Are. You Exist. You are Love, Life and Truth. The kingdom of God (your Being) is within you. Within your Being you are connected to Yahweh…to the great I Am. The Truth will set you free. Do not demand God’s love. Just be still and let God Be for God is Love. If you have suffered lovelessness and abuse it may take some time to experience and become aware of this Reality. Be Patient. Be gentle with yourself. No judgment. Accept yourself.
Within this discussion it is important to clarify God is not a god of judgment, rejection, condemnation, hate, wrath, punishment, guilt or negation. The word I have grown to love when referring to God is the word…Yahweh. When translated it means… “I Am”. The great “I Am”. Words betray me when attempting to convey this Presence that I so very strongly sense and connect to within. It has been a long road to this awareness. I hope these writings can awaken your intellect to this connection within you.
Suffering points us towards home. It leads us back to our Center, our Spirit, our Essence. It points us home to Being, to Truth and to the Now. Suffering can be the result of naturally occurring events, life events, tragedies, disasters, our own choices, others abusing us, unmet childhood needs, unmet adult needs and unconscious lies. The pain we experience from whatever the cause can be a doorway leading us to our Essence. The pain can alert us to the need to reconnect to Being, to heal from inner wounds, to become aware of unconscious lies we believe, to change our thinking patterns and attitudes, to process our emotions, to face our life, to live our life and to become aware of how we relate to self, to others and to God. Suffering motivates us to heal and to come home to Being. Suffering can lead us to Being. Suffering can lead us to existing.
Emotions and inner sensations lead us to awareness of inner pain. We need to become aware of the pain. We need to become aware of the cause of the inner pain we experience. To do this it is necessary to be attentive to the story the pain is revealing. At the same time and most importantly, it is necessary to become aware of Spirit and aware of Existence; which is awareness of Love, Life, Presence and Truth “within”.
Whether you are “overly” anxious, sad, depressed, angry or elated; these emotions or states of living are often a sign and opportunity to heal. These inner reactions are doorways to healing. Healing involves awareness of unconscious lies, feeling and expressing pain, awareness of the Truth and Reality of Being and existing in choosing the Truth and choosing Being. Unconscious lies can be lies or untruths about yourself, others and God. Lies can be about negating yourself and even negating your very existence. Lies can involve false beliefs concerning your source, that is, from where you get your life and existence.
Being is not a “concept” like some intellectual “idea”. Being is not fictional. Being is within each person. Being is a reality. Being is Reality. Being is what you must come to know…come to know in the depths of your mind, body and emotions. Come deeper into Being.
Enter Being. Enter Amness. Enter Now.
No matter what you have done or not done, no matter who loves you or doesn’t love you, no matter if everyone rejects you or hates you, no matter if you do not love yourself or even if you reject and hate yourself…you Exist, you Are. Say…I Am. In the face of the pain and the lies…come back to Truth and to Reality…come back to…I Am. Come back to the Truth and the Reality…